Believe in YOU!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Hello Wellness Seekers:

This is my new post after a long hiatus. I’ve been so busy with writing my next book, Your Moment of T.R.U.T.H., that I’ve sorely neglected my website posts. For those of you who are still checking in on a regular basis for new posts, I want to thank you for your loyalty to this website. Your support means everything to me.

For this holiday season, I want to encourage you to believe. Believe in yourself and believe that you will do wonderful things, such as listening for positive messages, remembering your great memories, doing good things for others, and believing in universal peace. At a time of prolonged pandemics, we need to concentrate on the beauty in our lives, like catching a snowflake on our tongue, seeing all the bright lights of the season, keeping warm against winter’s icy chill. If we forget — we have nothing.

Winters here in Minnesota are long and arduous.

I spent yesterday shoveling our driveway. I stopped at one point to listen to the snow falling. Many people believe that there’s no sound when snowflakes fall, but I BELIEVE I can hear them. It’s a silence so profound that it makes me tear up. When I sit at my computer, all I have to do is look to the right and I can see deer strolling through our backyard. This makes me smile. In my office, I have a very big sign that says, Believe, because this is such a special word for me, and it always will be.

Fall in Canada

I visited Canada this past fall and explored Banff and Lake Louise. I even went on a four-mile hike up the St. Agnes Tearoom trail. It took us two and a half hours to scale and two hours to come back down. There were many times I wanted to stop, but after a rest, we continued. This was the most difficult hike in my life and yet I made it. ME! Me who climbed the mountain, survived Stage IV colon cancer — twice, had two near-death experiences, and have had insulin-dependent diabetes for almost 50 years. I’m not only a believer, I’m also an achiever. I’m proud of my accomplishments and I truly believe in my strength, courage, and love. Yet, I know I’m no different than many of you. As wellness seekers, you’re on a journey to climb those mountain trails, bike across your state, and look for the good in everything.

If you’re feeling depressed or anxious during this time of year, remember to believe in yourself, because if you believe you’ll experience the very good in this life. Happy holidays!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illnessclick here, or her newly published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.

 

Minnesota’s Author Fair

Hello Never Give Up Institute Seekers and Followers:

I’m going live at the Minnesota’s Author Fair on Saturday, November 13, 2021, in beautiful Stillwater, MN. I’d love it if you could stop by and visit with me. I can tell you about all the BIG PROJECT I’m working on at the Institute. It’s going to be amazing. I’ll have all my books and workbook to sell on that day. These would be great gifts for the holidays. Many of the authors who will be there that day are from my Women on Writing (WOW) chapter. They’re really wonderful women with their own award-winning books. Stop by if you can. Thanks!

May be an image of one or more people and text that says 'The Historic Lowell Inn Invites you to a splendid event! In Lovely Stillwater Minnesota Author FAIR Shop early for the holidays! Νου. 10am-4pm 4pm at the Lowell Inn at 102 2nd Street Ν. in Lovely Stillwater, MN We are thrilled to visit Stillwater for an Author's Gathering. You will have books to pur chase and get signed and talk to the authors about their inspiration. If you have questions, you may call Lisa Green at (952) 466-3364 This event is free and open to the public but there is Mohan fee for books.'

How to Safely Move Out of an Abusive Home

GUEST BLOG by Nora Hood

I’m thrilled to introduce you to Nora Hood, a blog writer and today’s guest. Her blog below includes critical information on how to move out of an abusive relationship and home. 

 

(Image courtesy of Pexels)

Find more inspiring articles like this at The Never Give Up Institute’s Blog.

How to Safely Move Out of an Abusive Home

 If you are a victim of domestic abuse, escape might feel hopeless. It can be hard to leave, especially if you have developed a form of codependency with your abuser. No matter what fears you have, leaving an abusive home is the best choice. Once you leave, you will finally be able to start your journey towards being mentally healthy. In order to make it out safely and find a new home, you’ll need to make a good plan.

Be Prepared

Before you leave an abusive partner or family, you should have a plan. You probably won’t be able to take all of your belongings, but you should make a checklist of important things to pack. You will need identification information, personal documents, any money you’ve saved, keys, prescription medicines, etc. You’ll also want to take anything of personal value to you.

If you want to file for a permanent restraining order in the future, then you’ll likely need evidence of the abuse. This could also help you send your abuser to jail. According to WomensLaw.org, evidence could include anything from pictures of your wounds, a personal diary documenting the abuse, objects broken by the abuser, medical reports from the abuse, and testimony in court from you or other witnesses. Having evidence will help protect you in the long-run.

While you will eventually need to purchase a new home, your best option for getting away as soon as possible is by finding a temporary place to stay, whether that is at a friend’s or a family member’s place. You could also stay at a shelter while you’re getting things together.

 Make Your Escape

When you actually leave, you will need to move quickly so you don’t get injured. Don’t try to confront your abuser before you leave because this could make your situation worse. It’s tempting to stand up for yourself, but the safest option is to leave without saying anything. If your abuser has a regular routine, plan to leave when they are out of the house.

In the worst-case scenario, your abuser will catch you leaving and try to confront you. In this case, you should call 911. If you know that a confrontation is likely, you should consider calling 911 as a precaution. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for help from the police, you could also ask a friend to be there with you. Abusers are usually less likely to attack if there is a witness.

Find a New Home

It can be hard to get your life on track, but one of the best ways to get a fresh start is by putting down roots with your very own home. This will give you the sense of independence and control that you crave. As a domestic abuse survivor, your life was in someone else’s hands. Purchasing your own home is just another step of the healing process.

But buying a new home won’t be easy. You’ll need to have a regular source of income and good credit. If your abuser didn’t allow you to have a job, you’ll have to find one, which can be hard after experiencing the trauma of domestic abuse. Another important part of the home purchasing process is determining what you can afford. You’ll need to consider your annual income, the down payment, how much you spend each month, what kind of loan you’ll be taking out, and the location of the home.

Once you’re financially stable enough to buy your own home, take your time to decide which one is best for you. Make sure you do your research on the area and look for a neighborhood with low crime rates so that you can feel safe. After you’ve found the perfect home and moved in, you should make connections with your community. Niche recommends checking out the town calendar and joining local organizations.

Escaping from domestic abuse is hard. The relationship can become addictive, and it can feel like there is no way out. But you deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life. Just make sure that you’re prepared to leave, so you don’t end up injured. If you want to learn more about surviving trauma and healing, The Never Give Up Institute offers a wide variety of information and healing tools that can help you start fresh.

Find more inspiring articles like this on The Never Give Up Institute’s website.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way numerous times. She survived and now shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her tools for healing trauma book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, click here. If you would like to read her 2020 published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between, click here.

Keep Speaking the Truth

Dear Wellness Seekers:

I received this picture and saying from a woman I greatly admire. In fact, this photo and saying are so touching that I wanted to share it with everyone I know. It has a very personal effect on me since some of my siblings have disowned me for speaking publicly about my childhood abuse. I am the only one in our family who admits that my father was the abuser, despite knowing some of my siblings were abused, too. (But that’s their story to tell. I can only write about my story.)

Telling the truth about an issue so despicable is never easy. After I survived Stage IV colon cancer, I finally learned that if I didn’t tell my personal story I was going to die. Sounds dramatic, but it’s the truth. What I learned was I had stuffed all my life’s trauma into my body, mind, and spirit, and the trauma dove deep inside my muscles, cells, organs, and bones. I could never understand why I had so many health conditions, that is until I was diagnosed with cancer – 3 times. In my research to find how I could survive a 6 percent chance of survival, I began to research and pray to keep living. My book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, helped me realize that I had the power to heal myself. (You can view this book on this website.)

Many of my siblings refused to believe and were angry that telling my story was a healing journey. They, in fact, thought I was seeking attention. They knew I’d been abused, but felt the truth should be hidden. Hiding that truth made me deathly ill. I struggled with telling the truth until cancer became a wake-up call for me. Now I believe that the siblings who disowned me are not liars but are living a lie. I never thought they would act against me.

My world has not come to an end and many of my cancers have come and gone making me extremely grateful. That is why I chose to tell the truth.

You can, too!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way numerous times. She survived and now shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her tools for healing trauma book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, click here. If you would like to read her 2020 published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.

Preventing Abusive Head Trauma

Dear Wellness Seekers:

Since it is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, I am relaying a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) article I received from Juliet at D’Amore Mental Health. The following information is instrumental in preventing childhood brain damage.

What is Abusive Head Trauma?

Abusive head trauma (AHT), which includes shaken baby syndrome, is a preventable and severe form of physical child abuse that results in an injury to the brain of a child. AHT often happens when a parent or caregiver becomes angry or frustrated because of a child’s crying. It is caused by violent shaking and/or with blunt impact. The resulting injury can cause bleeding around the brain or on the inside back layer of the eyes. Data shows:

  • AHT is a leading cause of physical child abuse deaths in children under 5 in the United States.
  • Babies less than one-year-old are at the greatest risk of injury from AHT.
  • AHT accounts for about one-third of all child maltreatment deaths.

Crying, including long periods of inconsolable crying, is a normal behavior in infants. Shaking, throwing, or hitting a baby is never the right response to crying. For more information about abusive head trauma definitions please see Pediatric Abusive Head Trauma: Recommended Definitions for Public Health Surveillance and Researchpdf icon[1.6 MB, 56 Pages, 508].

What are the consequences?

Nearly all victims of AHT suffer serious, long-term health consequences. Examples include:

  • vision problems
  • developmental delays
  • physical disabilities
  • hearing loss

At least one of every four babies who experience AHT dies from this form of child abuse.

How can we prevent Abusive Head Trauma?

 Anyone can play a role in preventing AHT. Understanding the dangers of shaking or hitting a baby’s head against something, knowing the risk factors and the triggers for abuse, and finding ways to support parents and caregivers in their community are all ways to prevent AHT. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has developed a resource, Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect: A Technical Package for Policy, Norm, and Programmatic Activities.pdf icon[3.90 MB, 52 Pages, 508] that identifies a number of strategies to help states and communities prioritize prevention activities based on the best available evidence. This resource is also available in Spanish.pdf [21 MB, 52 Pages, 508].

  • Understand that infant crying is worse in the first few months of life, but it will get better as the child grows.
  • Try calming a crying baby by rocking gently, swaddling in a blanket, offering a pacifier, holding your baby against your bare skin, singing or talking softly, taking a walk with a stroller, or going for a drive in the car.
  • If the baby won’t stop crying, check for signs of illness and call the doctor if you think the child is sick.
  • If you are getting upset, focus on calming yourself down. Put the baby in a safe place and walk away to calm down, checking on the baby every 5 to 10 minutes.
  • Call a friend, relative, neighbor, parent helplineexternal, or your child’s healthcare provider for support.
  • Never leave your baby with a person who is easily irritated, has a temper, or a history of violence.

If you are a friend, family member, or observer of a parent or caregiver

  • Be aware of new parents in your family and community who may need help or support.
  • Offer to give a parent or caregiver a break when needed.
  • Let the parent know that dealing with a crying baby can be very frustrating, but infant crying is normal and it will get better.
  • Encourage parents and caregivers to take a calming break if needed while the baby is safe in the crib.
  • Be sensitive and supportive in situations when parents are dealing with a crying baby.
  • Be supportive of work policies (e.g., paid family leave) that make it easier for working parents to stay with their infants during the period of increased infant crying (i.e., between 4-20 weeks of age).

See Child Abuse and Neglect Resources for more resources about preventing abusive head trauma.

Thanks Juliet, for this great article!

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 Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way numerous times. She survived and now shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her tools for healing trauma book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, click here. If you would like to read her 2020 published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.