Verbal Abuse IS Domestic Abuse

Verbal Abuse IS Domestic Abuse
Dear Wellness Seeker, 

I received this email this morning from NO MORE Foundation and thought I would spread the word. The holidays are extremely stressful and angry words can ruin the season. If you or someone you know is being verbally abused, PLEASE help yourself or them with reading this article. Thank you NO MORE Foundation for your commitment to and work for abuse survivors.

Did you know that nearly half of all women and men in the U.S. have experienced verbal abuse from a partner? Today, we are proud to announce that NO MORE is teaming up with the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV) to send a clear message: Verbal abuse IS domestic violence. 

Verbal abuse is an often-overlooked component of intimate partner violence. It is difficult to detect, assess, and substantiate, and many cases go unreported. Some victims of verbal and emotional abuse may not even consider themselves victims, because they associate domestic violence only with physical abuse. But the scars of verbal abuse —taunting, name-calling, criticism, and threats — can be just as insidious and damaging to those who experience it. 

That’s why NO MORE and NRCDV are launching the #NOMOREVerbalAbusecampaign and website. The website contains: Information and graphics about verbal abuse and information on how to recognize healthy and unhealthy relationships. The #NOMOREVerbalAbuse Pledge. A toolkit containing shareable resources  Printable #NOMOREVerbalAbuse signage. Verbal abuse survivor stories  Supporters of the campaign are encouraged to take the pledge via the website to join this effort. Additionally, you can now use your Alexa-enabled device to join the campaign and spread the word that verbal abuse is not acceptable. Simply say, “Alexa, open NO MORE” and “Register Your Voice” against verbal abuse today.

We want all survivors of verbal abuse to know that we see them, we hear them, and they are not alone. Join us in spreading the message: Verbal abuse IS domestic violence. And we say NO MORE. Click here to tweet your support.   Learn More  

I felt I had to tell the truth!

In a recent article in TIME magazine, Lyz Lenz wrote a brilliant article “Shouting Into the Void: How many personal stories must women share to convince others of their humanity?” I am moved by this article, so I want to share some of it with you, and then a few comments from me.

“Women have long been compelled to share their most private moments in order to convince others of their humanity.”

“As more men, including the President of the United States, have been publicly accused of assault and misconduct, and more states have passed laws that restrict our abilities to make decisions about our own health care, women have been repeatedly reminded of this country’s disregard for our bodily autonomy [independence] and indifference to the reality of our lives.”

I came out publicly years ago stating that I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by my father. I’m not the only one in our family, but I’ve chosen to let these siblings tell their own stories, yet, I needed to let go of this painful secret because it was causing my health and wellness to disintegrate. Yes, I became ill time after time because my mind, body, and spirit were overwhelmingly stressed due to the memories of my father and his abuse.

How many women must come forth and tell their stories until the world acknowledges that women are often abused and degraded every day by men? And it is not just in the U.S., women are harshly treated all over the globe. With online media, stories and stories of abuse are appearing daily, yet it does not seem like action is being taken to keep women safe.

I want to be safe in this life, and that means I do not want men to assume “I like” being abused and raped, because I do not!

“The President, who been accused of sexual misconduct by more than a dozen women, still sits in the White House, still overseeing a political system, still nominating judges to lifetime roles, stripping away our control over our own bodies. He’s denied all allegations, and the nation, by and large, has shrugged them off too.”

When powerful, rich men decide women are equal humans, we can get the dark secrets out in the open without feeling ashamed and start healing.

Thank you, Lyz Lenz, for your superb but sad article. Never Give Up, Lyz!!!


Do Something!

I haven’t written a post for quite some time. I admit that this year has me on edge with all the mass shootings, political divide, immigration crisis, and unemployment. Did I miss anything?

Even though I’m an advocate for HOPE, I must say that 2019 has really been a trial for me. Every time news knocks me down, I try to get back up. With the multitude of chaos in our lives, getting up is slower and slower. Do you feel the same?

I refuse to give in to fear. Fear does nothing except cause more fear. Once it begins, it’s like a live fuse already burning toward the end. Can it be stopped?

Yes, but the answer is complex and so many of us want the simple way out. THERE IS NO SIMPLE WAY OUT! We have to go through the flames of fear.

Fear slithers around our bodies, captures our minds, and floods our spirits with darkness. Fear creates stress, stress causes illness, and illness leads to death. How do we stop this dangerous spiral?

We refuse to listen to fear! We find the truth and shed light on the lies. Fear cannot exist when the truth is always told and the light is always on. No one has the power to make us fear – not our bodies and, certainly, not our country!

Stress from Fear Is Like a Three-legged Stool

The healthy connection between the body, mind, and spirit is often pictured as a three-legged stool. If stress takes one leg, the entire stool collapses. The same works for the other legs. Remove one part and your health suffers. Total balance of your body, mind, and spirit results in true healing of fear and stress.

Keep your body, mind, and spirit strong against fear and stress. This way, you’ll understand that fear is fickle and your special connection can release the stress.

How do you handle fear and stress? I would greatly appreciate your answers to this question.

Remember: Never Give Up!

Law vs. Justice

I am a curious writer – one who wants to know how the world works. As I wrote my manuscript, The Bear: In the Middle of Between, I loomed over the court room scene where my main character fights for justice from all the damage that has been done to her. The most amazing truth came to light as I focused on this scene. Claudia, my main character, finds out the hard way that law and justice are two very different principles. The majority of cases in our law system stem on whether a particular law has been violated or not. If the law is broken then a sentence is delivered. If the law is not broken, an acquittal occurs.

Astonishingly, Claudia and I found out that justice is not a part of our legal system. Justice is a quality or a sense of entitlement for a loss – such as life, property, or reputation. No justice can be served to the person who kills an innocent woman or man. The perpetrator will be sentenced to prison because he violated the law that prohibits killing. Whether or not I agree with the verdict, or feel that it is fair, the fact remains that the judge/jury decides if a law has been broken. Justice from a broken law depends on our expectations.

In the recent conviction of Mohamed Noor, a former Minneapolis police officer who was found guilty of third-degree murder of Justine Damond, people cried for justice in the killing of an innocent woman. Noor was found guilty because he broke a law, not because Justine was a remarkable woman. As author Richard Greelis wrote in a recent StarTribune editorial, “There is no justice when an innocent life is taken. Whatever sentence the judge comes up with will be considered just by some and a miscarriage of justice by others.” I believe Mr. Greelis’ description is accurate. BUT, we ask, what about our sorrows and sufferings? By our legal system, the only mandate that matters is if a law has been broken.

So, what do we do now with fighting for justice? Should we fight at all? As a principle, justice must prevail, at least in our hearts. Without a sense of justice, our lives would be distraught, and our beliefs would be forever in flux.

When I think of justice, I think about all the individuals, who for decades were sexually abused at the hands of Catholic priests. Or, all the children who are sexually abused by parents. What is justice like for these victims? For us? For me? Priests and parents break the law but few are incarcerated. The Catholic Church settles lawsuits with money not prison terms – as if money can return a child’s innocence or lost years. Money is not the cure for such savage disregard for children. Perpetrators must be penalized and sent to prison because the law is broken. Period.

My goal is to help abused children, who are now adults, find our own sense of justice where our lives are filled with exceptional quality and love.

Never. Give. Up. On. Justice.

Happy Valentine’s Day

The following article is gratefully reprinted with permission from Bruce Lipton, author of Think Beyond Your Genes.

Hello Dear Friends, Cultural Creatives and Seekers Everywhere,

By the time I was 40-years old, a dismal track record of failed relationships led me believe that love was a literary fabrication, a fantasy perpetuated by Hollywood. Regardless, missing that fictional experience did not remove hope for me, for I felt a “need” to continue my quest for a relationship.

In the mid 80’s, I found myself on a Caribbean island, with a wonderful high salaried teaching position, living in a fabulous villa with pool on a private beach facing sunsets over the sea. Wow! I was in possession of the most fabulous pick-up line, “Hey, __(fill the blank)__, why don’t you come and hang-out in my Caribbean villa.” While I tried it a few times and it never worked, I did not give up.

One day, at the island’s yacht club, I met a lovely single woman that was sailing through the Caribbean with friends. After sharing lunch and a few drinks, I hopefully dropped my pick-up line. After a few moments of silence, she looked me in the eye and responded, “I can’t be with you … you are too needy.” While it momentarily knocked the wind out of me, I truthfully responded, “Thank you, I needed that!”

On the beach walk home, I pondered her life-shaking response. Too needy? I had health, money, a great job, an outrageous villa for a home. Over and over in my mind, I thought, “How come I can’t be happy with all the wonderful things I already have?” Rather than bemoaning the things I didn’t have, I began to focus on, and appreciate, the “gifts” I already had.

In a short time, I was so busy enjoying my life that I no longer missed the need for a “partner.” In the process something magical happened, I began to love myself. Previous to this time, when I saw myself in the mirror, I would rattle off a litany of my self-perceived faults. Thoughts that I now recognize were self-sabotaging subconscious programs acquired in my far-less-than-ideal childhood. In a short time, I was able to look at my image and appreciate the positive characteristics I had acquired in my life.

In the process of rewriting my subconscious beliefs, replacing negative programs with positive affirmations, I experienced a magical transformation. Once I learned to love myself, life magically transformed from purgatory to Heaven-on-Earth. Interestingly, not “needing” a partner led to an opportunity where many wonderful potential partners came into my life. The success of this transformation is expressed in the 20 years of experiencing the Honeymoon Effect with my life partner, Margaret.

The lesson is profound: To experience LOVE in this world, we must first LOVE ourselves. Otherwise, our relationships are co-dependent in which we are dependent on the other partner for providing the love we seek. Interestingly, in belief-change programs in which I have participated, between 80 and 90% of all participants would not test positive for the belief, “I love myself.”

For this Valentine’s Day, I wish for all of you that you can stand in front of a mirror, not be self-critical, and honestly acknowledge “I love myself.” Once your energy field is vibrating in the frequency of LOVE, through harmonic resonance you will find yourself immersed in a world of peace, harmony and, of course, LOVE.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!

With Love & Light,
Bruce