More About Why We Lie

More About Why We Lie

Hello Wellness Seekers:

In November of 2016 I wrote a post titled, “Why I Lied.” This post continually receives the most comments of all time. I’m happy that it proves to be helpful to me and my readers.

An Essay Blows Me Away

Today, I read a new article that delves into “why we lie” even deeper. Published in last week’s TIME magazine is an essay titled, “How Secrets Keep Us Sick,” by Sarah Levy, the author of Drinking Games. In her essay, Ms. Levy says:

“There’s research that shows that primates evolved the tendency to tell lies to maximize survival, and  2018 study in Memory and Cognition explains [how] false denial can serve as a coping tool for managing shame and guilt.” Levy states, “I was dreadfully uncomfortable in my own skin and desperate to be someone, anyone, else. It seemed natural to alter the truth when my own reality was painful.”

My Reaction

After reading this statement, I was thrown back to the years I lied. Knowing it was a coping tool to survive my abusive father, I feel no shame or guilt. Some may say “it’s just another denial,” but truth be told, I needed this tool to keep living. I believe in the truth now more than ever, and I see how lies can prevent additional abuse and punishment.

Unfortunately, we don’t know this when we’re young and being abused by a “supposed” loved one, because our brains were not developed enough for us to say, “You’re hurting me,” or “Stop touching me.” An abused child’s lament.

My Advice

If you know a child who lies, find out what’s happening to this child. You may save this child’s life.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle.
Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times.
She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men
who have been traumatized.

New Year / New Blessings

New Year / New Blessings

Hello Wellness Seekers:

I apologize for not posting in a month, but my website wouldn’t let me in. I tried changing my password a billion times — no success. So, I got online and chatted with hosting techs over the past weeks. Finally, today, I found someone to unlock my website. I continue to reign as Queen Bee on this website! I missed you all.

So, how is 2023 looking for you? I’m wishing you all the great blessings of safety and health to you and your loved ones during the year. I have to admit that my New Years started off with a BANG! My Green Bay Packers outshined the MN Vikings. Go Pack. Now we’ll see what happens next week with the Detroit Lions. (I’ve been a Packer fan all of my life since growing up in Wisconsin.)

I was sincerely troubled when I saw what happened to the Buffalo Bills player, Damar Hamlin. My prayers echo the worldwide prayers being sent to him and his family. I’m sending him blessings of health and recovery.

Football is dangerous, and we’re brought to this time and again when a player gets hurt. But I also want to bless the children and women who are abused each day — around the world. These children and women should definitely be called our “Heroes.” I pray for their health and wellbeing and I direct them to my healing trauma wounds found on this website. Please share this website if you know of someone who is trying to to find essential tools to live a new life after trauma.

Be well this year and never give up!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.

In the Beginning There was Chaos

In the Beginning There was Chaos

In the Beginning There was Chaos!

There was nothing but darkness—absolute blackness. No light, no sound, no energy. There were only eternal nights without stars. Many theories have tried to explain the beginning of our universe, so I will begin with explaining the top three: the big bang theory, evolution, and the story of Adam and Eve. These theories lead to my belief that our universe began in trauma and we have come to the decisive moment.

We consider the Big Bang Theory the leading explanation for how our universe began. Through the multitude of discoveries in astronomy and physics, scientists believe, beyond a reasonable doubt, that our universe did in fact have a beginning. Somehow, a spark was lit and chaos began. Lightning, explosions, the birth of pristine stars and planets all began at once. Asteroids slamming into each other created atoms of fury and life. The first new day of the universe had begun, but in its wake was destruction and pandemonium. Some scientists believe it took over 13.8 billion years to get where we are today, and our universe is still growing through chaos.

Evolution (also known as the theory of natural selection) is one of the fundamental keystones of modern biological theory. According to an article published on June 7, 2019, by the National Geographic Society:

“The theory of [evolution] natural selection, comprises of organisms who produce more offspring than can survive in their environment. Those that are better physically equipped to survive, grow to maturity, and reproduce. Those that are lacking in such fitness either do not reach an age when they can reproduce or produce fewer offspring than their counterparts. We sometimes sum natural selection as ‘survival of the fittest’ because the ‘fittest’ organisms—those most suited to their environment—are the ones that reproduce more successfully, and are likely to pass on their traits to the next generation.”

Survival of the fittest states that the weak ones die or are devoured by the stronger. “Only the strong survive” is a traumatic proverb.

In the Bible, Adam and Eve are the first human couple created by God on the sixth day of Creation, and are the ancestors of all of humanity. In the perfect setting of the Garden of Eden, God told Adam and Eve they could eat any of the fruit in Eden, but forbade them from eating the fruit on the Tree of Knowledge. Satan transformed himself into a serpent and enticed the couple to eat the fruit. This resulted in God’s banishment of Adam and Eve from Eden. He sent them into a world of hostile beasts, poisonous reptiles, and dangerous weather, casting them into trauma.

Whatever theory you choose to believe, trauma started from our very beginning of time and is a well-known concept of biology and science. Even in religious sectors, they cannot deny that it thrust Adam and Eve into trauma.

This research has led me to the belief that all traumas began at the moment a spark flew and ignited our descent into suffering and pain. With trauma living in our cells, bones, organs, and muscles, it is no wonder why we have a conundrum of ways to treat trauma. Medical professionals use medication, psychiatrists use talk therapy and drugs, and religious orders use prayer and exorcism. All are trying to eliminate the effects of trauma, so much so that healing has become a billion dollar business in America.

I am convinced we can do better. This is why I created Your Moment of T.R.U.T.H. (The Road to Unresolved Trauma). We do not need to spend billions of dollars to heal from chaos and trauma. Put your money in the belief that you can, and will, eliminate stress and depression. The key is to focus on yourself and find the fuel to cope, and even wipe away, your doubts. Believe in healing—it is in your hands.

You can purchase my book and workbook by clicking here.  YMT is available on Kindle.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. 

Election Exhaustion

Hello Wellness Seekers!

Oh, I’m so happy the mid-term elections are “almost” over. The hatred expressed by some candidates and parties was appalling. Can’t people just get along together? Why does every commercial, ad, and network have to rip people’s lives apart? The “dirt” doesn’t help anyone, yet adds more hatred. We’ve got to come together as a country. And, yes, I voted!

Okay, I needed to get that out! It’s amazing to feel less stress and I’m actually looking forward to the holiday season. What? The holiday season? Luckily, I only have a few gatherings, so the season should be nice.

Are you stressed out? Now is the time to pick up and read my book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness. To order click here. You’ll get more tips and suggestions for getting through the holiday season. Why put yourself in harm’s way? Stress causes illness like the flu andA Book title Never Give Up COVID. Since our emotions are still raw from the elections, it’s best to concentrate on your healAmazonAmazonAmazonth and wellbeing. You’ll enjoy the holidays so much more. From personal experience I learned how to avoid depression, anxiety, moodiness, and painful holiday memories and you can too!

My past posts also provide you with insight on ways to stay away from Winter’s darkness. Sit by a warm fire and drink apple cider while watching the snowflakes fall. I find it so peaceful to see the flakes swirl around and cling to the windows and trees. If I go outside, I can actually hear the snowflakes fall. Can you?

The leaves have dropped off the trees and the colorful Autumn has passed. To heal my sadness, I bought a beautiful Autumn canvas to hang on my wall. It’s so refreshing to get lost in all those colors. I feel great when I look upon this canvas. If you can, find an awesome picture/poster to hang in your room. When the cold wind blasts outside, you can bask in the glow of tranquility.

Remember, NEVER GIVE UP!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. 

 

10 Rules to Refuel Your Health During the Pandemic of War

Hello Wellness Seekers:

Have you ever thought that war is a pandemic? Since the beginning of time, man has used war to show off their power and greed. Even the Catholic church produced its “holy wars” to change people’s religious beliefs. Like COVID-19, we need to stop the wars in our world—now!

To change this war pandemic, we must first look at ourselves and cultivate healthy attitudes and hope. Here are some tips you can make sense of a better tomorrow—starting today!

  1. Cultivate a peaceful surrounding in your home and community. Pick up garbage along the road, keep your sidewalks clear of snow and ice, and always say ‘hello’ to and smile at your neighbors.
  2. Alleviate stress and depression by reducing your exposure to bad news in the newspapers and on radios. There is so much trauma in our world that escaping the unhealthy effects can lead to depression, stress, and anxiety. To overcome these conditions, see your doctor or counselor for help.
  3. Eliminate the alcohol and drugs you use to ease your pain. This results in addiction, and in my view, this is just as bad as war. While your body is trying to maintain your health, drugs and alcohol can have dramatic and detrimental lifelong effects on your mind, body, and spirit.
  4. Apologize for the mistakes you make. Can you imagine what would happen if Putin apologized to Ukraine for the devastation and human lives that are lost each day? We could usher in a new day. Putin will never do this because he views it as a loss of his power.
  5. Change your attitude. This may seem impossible, but we can do this. We have so many issues with race, sexual orientation (don’t say ‘gay’), religion, females vs. males, poverty, and so forth. This just fills our lives with more stress and anxiety.
  6. Let men know that women and children are not property. They are human beings created in equal partnership. Men have no right to abuse women and children. Our justice system must stop the sexual and physical assaults that happen every day. Sexual abuse is a pandemic across the globe.
  7. Find comfort in reading uplifting books, movies, and podcasts. There are plenty of avenues to clean your soul with happy and hopeful messages.
  8. Become a role model for everyone you meet. We’re all looking for people who can raise our spirits and morale. You can do this! We can do this!
  9. Stop the negativity. Negativity spreads like wildfire and is difficult to squash. Be your own best friend and give this kindness to others.
  10. Make every day your best day—ever! You can change our world by becoming the person you have always wanted to be. Laugh, sing, dance, raise your voice in joy, and never give up! You are the cure to all the world’s evils.

I implore you to take these rules seriously. Your voice can lead others in their voicesand we’ve got a lot to say. Join me in this movement to stop all wars.

Thanks a million!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illnessclick here, or her newly published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.