What the HELL Type of Therapy Is This?

What the HELL Type of Therapy Is This?

Hello Wellness Seekers:

I’ve been absent from my blog writing in the past many months. All I can say is “WOW!” If the sky had fallen it did on my life. Last year, child abuse appeared at my doorstep and I invited her in, along with her sister. Their story is so sad I could hardly cope with the news. I’ve been working with trauma survivors for the past 15 years, but when it strikes you in the gut–right in your family–the response is horrifying. The more I heard the more I was viciously triggered. Nightmares came back in floods and I was triggered each time Mary (not her real name) talked with me. I was so outraged I couldn’t control the anger that kept rising in my throat.

How could her parents do this and continue the abuse for more than a decade? The family knew nothing about what was happening to the girls. Our response: absolute shock, grief and anger.

Mary’s parents are members of a Catholic cult where girl children are made to dress in colorless clothes that cover the entire body. They were homeschooled where religious rules were strictly followed. Mary and her younger sister were told not to say anything to out-of-state relatives.

How could this happen in today’s world? Statistics show that child and domestic abuse are widespread all over the world. Thankfully there are numerous organizations who help abuse survivors cope with their trauma, but unfortunately, there is no treatment to completely heal. Abuse goes into our cells, bones, muscles, and memories and create devastating physical, psychological, and emotional illness. Case in point, Mary’s parents took her to see a Catholic cult therapist. This man had no credentials except he was a “man of God.” Their first meeting with him, he told Mary to sit on his lap. She said no, but her parents (who were in the room) guilted her to the point where she gave in. The first thing this man said was, “Mary, I can feel your genitals.” What the hell type of therapy is this?

Please help abuse survivors contact “credentialed professions” who do no harm to them.

Mary’s parents moved out of California before they were investigated and arrested, leaving Mary and her sister out on the streets. Mary’s sister lives in the alleys of a poor town, trying to find food and shelter. Mary showed up at our door. Hell broke out, but we had no legal options to help them. A county social worker was assigned to Mary’s sister, yet she still lives in the alleys. She’s addicted to drugs, cuts herself with a knife, and is sex-trafficked. This started when she was 16.

Abusive parents should:

  • be fully and completely investigated by Child Protective Services and police.
  • lose their parental rights.
  • have no access to their abused children.
  • get prison sentences.
  • be registered as perpetrators.

Depending on the severity of the abuse, child abuse can be found to be a misdemeanor or a felony in most states.

“According to a Cleveland Clinic podcast, adults who experienced trauma as kids are much more susceptible to depression and mood disorders, as well as thoughts of suicide. They are also likely to abuse alcohol and other substances. Finally, they are more prone to developing chronic illnesses, like diabetes and heart disease, later in life.” [Source: Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adults By Brittany Loggins,  updated on December 04, 2023, and medically reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT]

Despite help from aunts, uncles, and nieces, Mary and her sister are experiencing unresolved mental illness that puts them at tremendous risk. Our help is constantly and legally blocked. We’ve called on many resources, but please respond to this post if you can help us. Thank you!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually traumatized.

 

When Abuse Happens

When Abuse Happens
When Abuse Happens

With the heat this summer came a story of abuse that scorched my soul. A young relative confided in me that she has been sexually, physically, verbally, and spiritually abused since she was a child. Her story broke my heart because I had no idea this was going on. When abuse happens it ignites me and makes me rageful, and it should ignite our communities too!

She was 12 when she was raped and became pregnant. When her abuser found out, he beat her until she miscarried. Her foster parents, members of a Catholic cult, didn’t believe her and accused her of lying. They took her to several “self-proclaimed” Catholic therapists who abused her even more. This story isn’t new and it continues to repeat itself day after day.

How Can We Make It Stop?

The best way to make abuse stop is to ask questions. Don’t assume that the child is telling lies and fabricating stories. Ask them if someone hurt them, if they were sexually forced to do things, and if they are/were threatened by an adult. Then listen! Listen to children’s and teen’s story without judging them. Remember they ARE severely traumatized and need medical and emotional support. And please, don’t assume they will get over the abuse. Abuse, no matter what kind, sinks into our cells and damages our bodies. If you ignore the signs, you are making a deadly choice!

It Takes a Village!

Child and domestic abuse is happening every second of every day and night. If you know a child or teen who seems belligerent, emotionally distant, or detached, ask them what’s hurting them. Be aware that your questions can trigger an emotional dam and can blindside you. Abuse stories are real and terrifying, but don’t shut down. Survivors need you to understand and act on their behalf.

Did This Trigger Memories of My Own Abuse?

Yes! I’ve spent the summer dealing with anger and rage. I’ve become quiet trying to absorb her story and dealing with her pain and mine. Get out of your comfort zone and help these survivors. Don’t assume we’re just weird. We’re traumatized and need guidance on how to go forward and reclaim our lives!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually traumatized.

The Difference Between Faith and Ideology

Angels weep.

A statue of a crying angelFrom Vatican News comes a bombshell — the difference between faith and ideology.  Pope Francis says, “It’s true that there are imperialisms that want to impose their ideology. […when] culture is distilled and turned into ideology, it’s poison. Culture is used, but distilled into ideology. We must distinguish the culture of a people from the ideologies that then appear from some philosopher, some politician of that people. And I say this for everyone, also for the Church.”

Is he talking about Donald Trump and his gang of goons? Yes, definitely. White men who make up the majority of PEDOPHILES! CRIMINALS! ABUSERS! It’s their ideas about owning women and children, seeing them as property to do what they want — not what is right! I’m so tired of these men treating me like a second class citizen. Ancient societies understood the role of Mother and found ways to strengthen cultures — NOT destroy them.

What Ideas Are White Men Fostering?

Here’s a list:

  1. Males and females are not equal.
  2. Women don’t have the right brains to make decisions.
  3. Children should be seen and not heard.
  4. A wife’s place is in the kitchen.
  5. Women and children are a man’s property and must obey him without question.

WOW! Making this list has made me sick! If it makes you sick then you are truly my favorite readers.

Where Do These Crazy Ideals Come From?

Crazy ideas come from crazy people. People who want power and are so greedy they will take away what cultures need.  There are so many countries in this world that take away people’s freedom and rights. As Pope Francis said, “An ideology is incapable of incarnation; it is only an idea. But when ideology gathers strength and becomes politics, it usually becomes a dictatorship, right? It becomes an incapacity to dialogue, to move forward with cultures. And imperialisms do this. Imperialism always consolidates starting from an ideology.”

I never thought I’d quote the Pope, but he drew a line, “In the Church too we must distinguish doctrine from ideology: true doctrine is never ideological, never.” So, white men you are on notice. We know you’re trying to become dictators. History continually shows us how dictators accomplished their ideas — they didn’t!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually,  spiritually traumatized.

When I Died

When I Died
Death

When I died there was no body to bury, no ashes to disperse, and no mourner tears. There wasn’t a celebration of my life or any newspaper notification that I was gone. I was 50 years old, too young to perish so soon. I was the only one at my death, well, my deceased mother and me. She asked me to go with her, but I knew that would be my final journey in this lifetime. I shook my head no and she walked back toward the illuminous light. I died!

A Real Death Experience.

That was my first “near” death experience when I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. I’m reluctant to call it a “near” death experience because I was so awake and conscious of my surroundings. I knew I was in a hospital bed and that I had surgery. I felt no pain, yet, my mother was right in front of me and I could clearly see her face and hear her voice. She gently opened her arms to me.

Was I gone three minutes or three hours? I was confused when I opened my eyes. The room was dark except for the blinking lights on the medical monitors. Then came the pain, a tidal wave of agony so fierce that it took my breath away. I clicked on the nurse’s button and waited for someone to help me.

Jean Died in March of 2007.

I died again in May of 2010, or maybe I should say the woman I was died of Stage IV colon cancer — it came back in my liver. Her name was “Jean” and she was me until the death experiences. When I returned to my hospital bed, I knew Jean had died, and I was happy. Jean grew up in a family of nine children. She was the middle child, often stubborn and angry. Jean was the cause of disturbances in the family, crying and screaming. To shut down her wildness, her father physically and sexually abused her and told her she was belligerent. He controlled Jean with fear and harm. He would glare at her to keep her in-line at the dinner table. And when her father was angry, all her siblings left the house in a hurry to get out of his way. Too defiant, Jean stood her ground, which incensed him more. He wasn’t going to let her win in their daily struggles. He beat her until she grew quiet, but her eyes flashed hatred as she retreated to her bedroom.

So Much Sorrow to Bear.

In the inside, Jean grew up lonely because she had no one to talk to. She only cried in the bathroom so she could wash aways her tears. She had lots of friends who thought she was funny and alive, but the deadness in her soul made her moody. Jean feared family gatherings because she didn’t want to see or talk to her father. She avoided “going home” on many occasions. Jean knew her mother understood what she was doing, but still begged Jean to come home on the holidays. After years of trying, and with a great amount of sorrow, her mother finally gave up on Jean, too.

Now, as Alex, I fully understand the growing years. I apologize to those who I hurt in my struggles to survive, and I’m deeply sorry for the horrible things I did and said. I’m not Jean anymore because I realize the world isn’t so dark (well, it is in many places), and people are kind and gentle. These people are the ones helped me build a better, more hopeful, life!

Please Don’t Call Me Jean!

Yes, a part of me died. There was no one to bury, no ashes to disperse, and no mourner tears. I no longer suffer from terrible nightmares and memories. I don’t hate anymore and I’m open to welcoming my family back into this new life. But please don’t call me Jean. She died and no longer lives inside me.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually,  spiritually traumatized.

The Root of Evil

The Root of Evil
July 4th for Freedom for All!

I read this morning’s newspaper, particularly an article on how the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against the LGBTQIA+ in defending homophobic artists and sellers from providing services to this community. Is this the 1960’s again? Was there a time warp? Was I asleep for the last 20 years? We have advanced our rights for equality for the gay community, now, we are falling back into scary, dark times.

 

Do you wonder why things seem off-balance right now? Just read about the GOP and the far-right movement, and you will understand that these groups are trying to send women’s and equal rights into the past.

I married my wife in 2013 when same-sex marriages became legal in the U.S. That was the most beautiful day in my entire life! Though we had been together for 20 years before this, our marriage certificate is one of the most precious documents we own. Hope was my savior! When Donald Trump became president and the GOP started making noise about making same-sex marriages illegal, fear washed over me.

Fear Is the Root Cause of Evil

Fear is a very disabling and paralyzing emotion that can be seen and felt all around our world. Children and adults all know how it feels to be afraid. Planet Earth is reeling with evil. From country to country, evil is being perpetuated by people who want to rule the world. Men such as Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Adolf Hitler, Ron DeSantis, Mitch McConnel, and yes, even Pat Robertson, are/were all planters of hate and evil. Religion is also a part of the root cause of evil. By saying they are disciples of God, these men spread disease, mayhem, misogyny, and abuse.

How Do They Perpetuate Fear?

The prominent level of evil is putting a massive amount of stress on those of us who want and fight for a fair and equal society. Men, in their pursuit of power, do everything evil to attain a sense of being the most powerful person. They buy enormous amounts of property, build huge buildings, take over countries, and convince people to give money. They create power through fear! Over the years, these men have enslaved Black people, women, and the LGBTQIA+ community through legislation and lies. We are told we will lose our rights as discrimination explodes.

How Can We Protect Ourselves from Evil Men?

  • First, we need to take pride in who we are! All of us being happy and joyous for the work and service we give to the world.
  • Second, we stop listening to the lies and myths created by men who want to destroy us.
  • Third, we keep voting for politicians who respect each one of us as good people and abide by fair and equal laws.
  • Fourth, we destroy all myths and stories that say we are less.
  • Fifth, honor our lives for our creativity, skills, commitment, determination, and hope.

As we head toward July 4th, I ask all of you to stand up and acknowledge our diversity, cultures, beliefs, and freedoms. We are a free people, and evil men cannot take this country down.

Women are also evil, but men have held the throne of fear from the beginning of time. I will not be fearful!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually,  spiritually traumatized.