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Healing Trauma Wounds | Tools to heal trauma of the mind, body & spirit

Believe in YOU!

Hello Wellness Seekers:

This is my new post after a long hiatus. I’ve been so busy with writing my next book, Your Moment of T.R.U.T.H., that I’ve sorely neglected my website posts. For those of you who are still checking in on a regular basis for new posts, I want to thank you for your loyalty to this website. Your support means everything to me.

For this holiday season, I want to encourage you to believe. Believe in yourself and believe that you will do wonderful things, such as listening for positive messages, remembering your great memories, doing good things for others, and believing in universal peace. At a time of prolonged pandemics, we need to concentrate on the beauty in our lives, like catching a snowflake on our tongue, seeing all the bright lights of the season, keeping warm against winter’s icy chill. If we forget — we have nothing.

Winters here in Minnesota are long and arduous.

I spent yesterday shoveling our driveway. I stopped at one point to listen to the snow falling. Many people believe that there’s no sound when snowflakes fall, but I BELIEVE I can hear them. It’s a silence so profound that it makes me tear up. When I sit at my computer, all I have to do is look to the right and I can see deer strolling through our backyard. This makes me smile. In my office, I have a very big sign that says, Believe, because this is such a special word for me, and it always will be.

Fall in Canada

I visited Canada this past fall and explored Banff and Lake Louise. I even went on a four-mile hike up the St. Agnes Tearoom trail. It took us two and a half hours to scale and two hours to come back down. There were many times I wanted to stop, but after a rest, we continued. This was the most difficult hike in my life and yet I made it. ME! Me who climbed the mountain, survived Stage IV colon cancer — twice, had two near-death experiences, and have had insulin-dependent diabetes for almost 50 years. I’m not only a believer, I’m also an achiever. I’m proud of my accomplishments and I truly believe in my strength, courage, and love. Yet, I know I’m no different than many of you. As wellness seekers, you’re on a journey to climb those mountain trails, bike across your state, and look for the good in everything.

If you’re feeling depressed or anxious during this time of year, remember to believe in yourself, because if you believe you’ll experience the very good in this life. Happy holidays!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illnessclick here, or her newly published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.

 

When Bob Went Away

When Bob Went Away

My best four-pawed friend crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on May 12, 2024. I’m still grieving and missing him a lot. Bob was 17 years old and a cockapoo. He came to live with us when I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. Bob helped me get off the couch when I was battling the side effects of chemotherapy. He was so loyal to us, and everyone in our neighborhood wanted to adopt him. Cute beyond words, Bob loved us and we loved him back.

Bob always met us at the door when we returned. Wagging his tail, he was so happy to see us. How do you say “goodbye” to a phenomenal friend who filled our lives with happiness and joy? We can’t, so instead, we remember all the memories and look at his photos to remind us that he’s still with us. His ashes are currently sitting in a container on our dining room table. I greet him everyday. We’ll bury his ashes soon.

This past year, Bob started slowing down. He no longer ran as far or as much, but he did like to sniff the scents in the air. Bob’s expressions were so dog-gone cute. He was good at telling us when he was hungry or had to go out to pee. He rarely barked, except when a German shepherd would walk by. Then he would howl until we removed him from the dog or got him away from the window. Bob was so protective of us and our house. I still believe he stares out the window to make sure we’re safe.

We loved him so deeply. When it was time for him to walk across the Rainbow Bridge, we sat in our living room where the vet and vet-tech gave him a sedative. Earlier that day, Bob had a major seizure, so we knew it was time to let him go. The vet told us that he probably had brain tumors, something we didn’t know. When the vet gave him the final injection, Bob slipped off this world and into the world where there is no pain, lots of food to eat, nap times, and tons of trees.

Please never underestimate the love we have for our pets. They are our furry children who we take care of and protect. Our grief mirrors the grief that we have for lost human loved ones.

Goodbye my precious little buddy!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.

 

My Beloved Bob!

Hello Dear Wellness and Truth Seekers:

My post today is very difficult to write. I’m so sad to let you know that my best friend, Bob, our 17-year old cockapoo died yesterday. He went over the Rainbow Bridge wagging his tail. He was the best man in our wedding and became my chemo-buddy in 2007 when I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. We gave him seventeen years of love and care.

For people who don’t have pets, I’m sure my extreme grief is foreign. Bob woke us up each day and filled our lives with joy. He was funny and adorable and protected us from harm. He went with us on trips and especially loved camping with us. Bob had his own camping chair and, as we’d sit around the campfire, he snoozed on his chair under his favorite blanket. Did we spoil him? Absolutely! I can only smile knowing that if Bob had been our human child, he would’ve been a handful.

I’m so grateful that Bob lived for 17 years. He’d meet us at the door when we got home and would run around us showing us how happy he was to have us home. We were always delighted to see him, too.

If you have a special pet, please give her/him a big hug! Rest in peace, little Buddy!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.

 

Love vs. Fear

Love vs. Fear

Dear Wellness & Truth Seekers:

Are you fearing the 2024 presidential election in November and its outcome? You’re not alone if you do. The New York Times recently published an article stating U.S. voters are experiencing a range of emotions including: anxiousness, nervousness, scared, frustration, worry, and uncertainty. [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/11/us/elections/poll-voters-election-biden-trump.html] I, too, had these feeling, until I read, Teach Only Love, and Love is Letting Go of Fear by Jerry Jampolsky, MD. In his words, Dr. Jampolsky said, “It is impossible to love and fear at exactly the same time.” I put this to a test and am realizing the wisdom in his words. I don’t have to fear the outcome. Why? Because I believe love will eliminate fear.

Love Will Eliminate Fear

Many psychologists/psychiatrists believe in the belief that we have only two emotions: Love and fear. If you’re fearful you cannot feel love, and, if you feel love you cannot feel fear. This is now my deep belief in human emotions and I send out love to conquer the fears I’ve had over my lifetime. The work was difficult, but I had to change my mindset. Fear led me to trauma and illness, failed relationships, and a disparity in life that was all-consuming. I didn’t want to live in doom and gloom. I learned this lesson when I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. My near-death experiences taught me how love could save me and keep me alive.

Reading or listening to any media source, you’ll find thousands of fear-mongering titles and articles. I really have to dig for the good news in our world. True Fact: fear sells while love struggles to be recognized. In fact, millions (if not billions) of dollars are spent to repeatedly say how bad our country (if not world) is/are. I’m not recommending that you stop reading the newspaper or watching tv news programs, but I am recommending you limit the amount of time you spend hearing bad news.

You Have the Choice to Walk Away from Misinformation and Lies

To practice love over fear, start with a loss of judging others and worrying. Start enjoying nature and connect with others who are positive and not toxic. Listen to music that soothes your soul and expands the love in your heart.

Remember . . . 

“When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.

He Who Should Not Be Named

Dear Truth & Wellness Seekers:

Name calling, racial slurs, insulting, belittling, tormenting, religious persecuting, and shaming are all forms of bullying, yet the one type of bullying – that I find the cruelest – is making fun of people with disabilities. Especially when it comes to Joe Biden’s predecessor – “he who should not be named!”

In response to Joe Biden’s exceptional State of the Union address on March 7, 2024, his predecessor is now mocking the President’s stuttering. Stuttering is a legitimate neurologic condition with over three million people in the U.S. suffering from this disability. Like all human disabilities that occur in our country, making fun of anyone with a disability is loathsome.

Cruel & Unhuman Behavior

Only a bully like – he who should not be named – raises my ire. I, too, am disabled and suffer from chronic and deadly illnesses. An estimated 133 million Americans, nearly half of the population, are diagnosed with disabilities. Over 95 percent of the world’s population has an illness.

  • Older Americans are significantly more likely than younger adults to have a disability. Some 46% of Americans ages 75 and older and 24% of those ages 65 to 74 report having a disability, according to estimates from the Census Bureau’s 2021 American Community Survey (ACS).
  • Americans in certain racial and ethnic groups are more likely to have a disability. 

Here’s More. . . 

  • The most common types of disability in the U.S. involve difficulties with walking, independent living, or cognition. According to the ACS, an estimated seven percent of Americans report having serious ambulatory difficulties – struggling with walking or climbing stairs.
  • Americans with disabilities tend to earn less than those who do not have a disability. Those with a disability earned a median of $28,438 in 2021, compared with $40,948 among those without a disability, according to ASC.
  • Disabled Americans have lower rates of technology adoption for desktop and smartphone devices.

These statistics are not jokes; they are extremely real and unkind.

He who should not be named is not human. He feasts on untruths and lies. Misinformation is his bullets, missiles, bombs, and grenades. His threats on our democracy are criminal and he should be punished.

Wake Up World!

He who should not be named is mortal and he can be defeated. He’s in debt and all his businesses are being scrutinized by the law. He cheats and robs everyone. The national debt increased by $7.8 trillion during his presidency. This amount would have found cures for disabilities.

He who should not be named president – for all his appalling crimes against humans. 

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.

No, LGBTQ+ People Aren’t Filth!

NEX BENEDICT. | Instagram     Nex Benedict

Dear Truth and Wellness Seekers:

[The following guest sermon was submitted by Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC) Minister Lorraine Fisher and posted by Universal Life Church Monastery Newsletter on Feb 29, 2024]

The tragic death of 16-year-old nonbinary high school student Nex Benedict has [led] to some difficult conversations – and alarming revelations – in my home state of Oklahoma.

Nex identified as nonbinary, and recently died following an altercation with other students in the Owasso High School bathroom. Details are still coming out regarding the case, and their cause of death has yet to be released by county officials.

It is deeply troubling to see members of a marginalized group targeted with violence, and the tragedy of a human life being lost makes my soul hurt.

Nex not only had to face the anxieties and difficulties of growing up as gender-nonconforming, they also had to do so in a state that has frequently criticized the very existence of LGBTQ+ people. That’s not a struggle I’d wish on anyone.

It’s also why the reactions to this story from Oklahoma leaders like State Senator Tom Woods have me feeling so disturbed.

I want to highlight a response he gave, because I think it’s a perfect illustration of an insidious force at work in Oklahoma (and around the country): the forced injection of a certain kind of Christianity into public life.

Christian Supremacy in Oklahoma?

At a legislative forum, a constituent asked State Sen. Woods if he believed that the numerous anti-LGBTQ+ bills passed by the Oklahoma legislature (and supported by Woods) could have contributed in some way to the assault on Nex.

Woods gave a shocking response.

He said: “I represent a constituency that doesn’t want that filth in Oklahoma. You know we are a religious state. We are going to fight and keep that filth out of the state of Oklahoma because we’re a Christian state.”

If you don’t believe me, audio of this interaction has been posted online:

Freedom, Not Faith, Comes First

I myself am a Christian. I go to church every Sunday. But Oklahoma is not a Christian state. No state is; that’s not how our system works.

Conflating religious beliefs with state identity and the operations of its government runs counter to the principles of religious freedom and inclusivity upon which this country was founded.

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution explicitly prohibits the establishment of a state religion and protects the rights of individuals to practice their faith freely, or to choose not to adhere to any religion at all.

The notion of a “Christian state” carries historical baggage that cannot be overlooked. Throughout history, the intertwining of religion and state power has often resulted in oppression, persecution, and violence against religious and sexual minorities.

By explicitly endorsing a specific religion in Oklahoma, State Sen. Woods is advocating for a system that privileges members of that religion above all others.

Here’s what I believe:

Weaponizing the Bible to call the LGBTQ community “filth” helps no one. As Christians, we cannot handwave away violent attacks on the LGBTQ community, even if we do not agree with that lifestyle.

When people assert that Oklahoma – or any other state – is inherently Christian, they marginalize and alienate non-Christians.

Like many others, I worry about declining church attendance numbers, and I hope to see more believers welcomed into the fold in my lifetime.

But, no, Oklahoma is not a Christian state. And that is part of what makes America so beautiful.

Note from Alex: 

This sermon deeply touched my heart, especially after I wrote “What the Hell Type of Therapy is This?” last week. I find it ironic that Mary and her younger sister’s parents moved to Oklahoma. Their parents probably thought they would be praised in Oklahoma for the conflated religious beliefs they hold. “No, Oklahoma is not a Christian state.” Nor are any states in the U.S.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with people who are or have been emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually traumatized.