Believe in YOU!

Alexis Acker-Halbur Cancer, Did you know?, Healing, Never Give Up, T.R.U.T.H. Program , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hello Wellness Seekers:

This is my new post after a long hiatus. I’ve been so busy with writing my next book, Your Moment of T.R.U.T.H., that I’ve sorely neglected my website posts. For those of you who are still checking in on a regular basis for new posts, I want to thank you for your loyalty to this website. Your support means everything to me.

For this holiday season, I want to encourage you to believe. Believe in yourself and believe that you will do wonderful things, such as listening for positive messages, remembering your great memories, doing good things for others, and believing in universal peace. At a time of prolonged pandemics, we need to concentrate on the beauty in our lives, like catching a snowflake on our tongue, seeing all the bright lights of the season, keeping warm against winter’s icy chill. If we forget — we have nothing.

Winters here in Minnesota are long and arduous.

I spent yesterday shoveling our driveway. I stopped at one point to listen to the snow falling. Many people believe that there’s no sound when snowflakes fall, but I BELIEVE I can hear them. It’s a silence so profound that it makes me tear up. When I sit at my computer, all I have to do is look to the right and I can see deer strolling through our backyard. This makes me smile. In my office, I have a very big sign that says, Believe, because this is such a special word for me, and it always will be.

Fall in Canada

I visited Canada this past fall and explored Banff and Lake Louise. I even went on a four-mile hike up the St. Agnes Tearoom trail. It took us two and a half hours to scale and two hours to come back down. There were many times I wanted to stop, but after a rest, we continued. This was the most difficult hike in my life and yet I made it. ME! Me who climbed the mountain, survived Stage IV colon cancer — twice, had two near-death experiences, and have had insulin-dependent diabetes for almost 50 years. I’m not only a believer, I’m also an achiever. I’m proud of my accomplishments and I truly believe in my strength, courage, and love. Yet, I know I’m no different than many of you. As wellness seekers, you’re on a journey to climb those mountain trails, bike across your state, and look for the good in everything.

If you’re feeling depressed or anxious during this time of year, remember to believe in yourself, because if you believe you’ll experience the very good in this life. Happy holidays!

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, click here, or her newly published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.

 

April is Prevent Child Abuse Month

Alexis Acker-Halbur Did you know?, Never Give Up, Sexual Abuse, T.R.U.T.H. Program, Trauma , , , , , ,
April is Prevent Child Abuse Month

This article comes from the American Society for the Positive Care of Children (American SPCC). I thank SPCC for allowing me to reprint this article.

Beyond Abuse Prevention: It’s more than physical

Trauma and abuse can take many forms including physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, neglect, exploitation, and more. When we speak of child maltreatment, we normally first think of physical abuse, but the shocking truth is that neglect is the number one form of child abuse in America.

What signs should parents or other caregivers notice to identify the various types of abuse? 

Every individual responds different to the trauma of abuse, but these are some common indicators to look out for:

  • Physical Abuse: Unexplained bruises, welts, burns, or other injuries
  • Emotional Abuse: Overly adoptive behaviors including inappropriate adult behavior and Inappropriate infant behavior
  • Physical or Emotional: Behavioral extremes including aggressiveness, withdrawal, frightened of parents, and afraid to go home
  • Sexual: Pain or itching in genitalia area or bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual behavior or knowledge
  • Neglect: Consistent hunger, poor hygiene, inappropriate dress, and consistent lack of supervision, especially in dangerous activities or long periods

Create safe spaces for your children to communicate big feelings with you. It’s important that you validate their feelings for the small things, so when big things happen, they know you will be there for them.

When should I report abuse?

Familiarizing yourself with the signs and symptoms of a child’s maltreatment and recognizing it is essential to prevent a child from further abuse and harm and allow them to begin the process of healing.

Any Mandated Reporter will tell you that when in doubt, report. 

For lots of people, reporting can feel scary because we don’t want to be the cause of children being removed from their homes. The intake professionals at your state agency are highly trained, and it will be up to them on how to move forward in a way that is safest for the child, which does not always include family separation.

It’s also important to note that potential signs of abuse that are connected to neglect may sometimes be indicators of poverty rather than negligence. In these instances, homes are full of love but lack the resources to provide the way that they would want. Rather than reporting abuse, in this case, consider asking if the parents are receiving all the public benefits available to them in your area, so they can more fully provide a home where children are well fed, clothed, and rested.

When parents have necessary resources and knowingly deprive children of their basic needs, unfortunately that is considered neglect. There is a drastic difference between a family-unit that is filled with love and care, versus a situation that deprives children of their basic needs. It’s important to be mindful of the nuances of circumstances. However, ultimately our number one priority must be the safety of the child. It truly takes a village to raise happy and healthy children.

Let’s lift people up if we can, and become advocates and safe havens for children who need us most.

What if I realize I have been unintentionally causing my child harm?

Realizing when our parenting has its own imperfections that may impact our children is a huge step in healing families. Nobody is perfect. It is never too late to acknowledge our own traumas to adjust our individual parenting styles to better meet our and our children’s physical and emotional needs.

The best thing parents can do is to educate themselves on their ACES in combination with evidence-based parenting styles to build tools to create positive environments that raise children to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted adults. Self-awareness takes time, patience, and a lot of giving grace to yourself; but you’re not alone!

Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who are or have been traumatized.

Where Does Freedom of Speech End?

Alexis Acker-Halbur Did you know?, Healing, Never Give Up, Sexual Abuse, T.R.U.T.H. Program, Trauma , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The End of Freedom to Speak!

According to the state of Florida, a movie or a book can be banned in schools if one parent complains. What? Yes, that’s right and it seems this trend is creeping out of Florida and into more states – like Tennessee and Wyoming.

Toni Morrison’s book, “The Bluest Eye” is losing her freedom to speak because her book includes a rape scene. Michelangelo’s statue “David” is also being screened because of his naked penis. Additionally, the “Ruby Bridges” movie, created by Disney, is banned because, as one parent says, “It teaches white children to hate black children.”

WHOA!

I’m a published author and I write about trauma, including rape and child abuse. These topics are mentally, socially, physically, and spiritually damaging. Children get hurt, women are assaulted, and men aren’t immune from the effects. Unresolved trauma causes illness and even death. My true story, “Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness” repeatedly proves this. I’m trying my hardest to tell survivors how they can resolve trauma in their minds, bodies, and spirits. Therefore, it takes one parent to object to my book and get it banned in Florida. Why? Because a few of our laws, in this country, are based on a few people’s objections.

Where does freedom of speech end?

It seems to end with one person’s belief that books or movies are found to be offensive. Most writers create fiction and nonfiction to enlighten our world about problems that must be solved. I can tell you that no one writes a book to damage the reader. (Well, horror movies have been known to psyche me out!) Religious beliefs also get in the way of freedom of speech. Is there trauma in the Bible? Sure, look at what happened to Adam and Eve when they were thrown out of paradise? They had to start over in a world with ferocious tigers, poisonous snakes, severe weather conditions, famine, death, and cruelty. Our ancestors prove time and time again that we can and do survive trauma through writing and reading.

Get a Clue, Parents!

As a child grows, she/he/them/they will confront with most, if not many, of the world’s tragedies. Though a life fact, trauma happens even if we shield our children from it, causing kids to grow up frightened, insecure, self-conscious, and unprepared for hardships. Is this what we want for our children? NO! Protecting our children is great but overprotecting them is damaging. How can children see the good in the world if they can’t compare it to the uglies in life?

How You Can Help

Encourage children to read books and watch movies that expand their knowledge and encourage empathy. If your child does see or read something that you find offensive, sit down and talk with them about the reality and truth of the story or movie. What is the lesson? Lessons are everywhere and those children who want to learn will be grateful for the TRUTH!

Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survives and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who are or have been traumatized.

When Is Enough — Enough?

Alexis Acker-Halbur Cancer, Did you know?, Healing, Never Give Up, Trauma
When Is Enough — Enough?

This past January, I turned 66. I noticed I was slowing down more than ever. I still have word search problems (Aphasia), extreme fatigue, balance issues, and short-term memory loss. I thought old age was coming after me with a vengeance having lived with diabetes for 50 years. But oh, how I missed the signs of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)!

I didn’t fall and hit my head like Amy Zellmer did, author of [Life With a Traumatic Brain Injury: Finding the Road Back to Normal], but I had Stage IV colon cancer (twice) and went through 18 sessions of chemotherapy (24 hours each — equaling 432 total hours). After reading Amy’s book, I contacted her and asked if my cancer treatments could cause TBI.

She responded, “YES — chemo brain is often referred to as a ‘chemical concussion,’ and I hear it over and over again.”

Amy Zellmer

YIKES!

I went to bed that night wondering when enough is enough. Trauma of the brain is so scary, and I realized after reading Amy’s book that it is complex and so misunderstood. People undervalue those of us with TBI with comments like “It’s just a concussion, you’ll be fine,” or “You just fell and hit your head–it will heal.”  Amy says, “This invisible illness is very real.”

In Amy’s comforting and kind words, I found a new “angel” in my life who delivered a very crucial message to me. I have TBI!

Am I angry? Does this knowledge make me sad? Yes, of course, I am, but in Amy’s story I found someone who told me the truth directly and without pity. Like my cancer, diabetes, and now TBI, I can assure you that I’ll never give up living this life as fully as I can. Through Amy’s book I found the courage to accept this news and begin again.

Amy Zellner

Life With a Traumatic Brain Injury, is a collection of Amy’s short articles, some of which were published in The Huffington Post. This book is perfect for TBI survivors and the rest of the world to gain a better understanding of the frustrations and struggles TBI survivors go through. We aren’t lazy or not paying attention, our words get jumbled and meanings are lost to us. We can’t remember how to use things like, for Amy, the microwave, or me the computer. We have to learn and relearn information every day. We sleep lots or not at all and the reason for this is our brains are trying to heal. Lots of people think that it takes a mere few months for the brain to heal, but in reality, our brains try to heal every day and night.

Understanding Is the Key

I’m slow, I sleep, I stumble over words, but I am a woman trying to live Life’s trials and tribulations. I ask for your understanding before you judge me on my inabilities to be “normal.” I live a “new normal” life with constant pain and tremendous self-doubt. But, I’m alive and I’d go through TBI hell to have this life I’m living. And I have Amy Zellmer to thank for writing this book and for the courage to keep going.  As I always say, “NEVER GIVE UP!” I won’t — will you?  Order and read Amy’s book today at https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Life+with+a+brain+injury&i=stripbooks&crid=2UZHWN7GSKPMF&sprefix=life+with+a+brain+injury%2Cstripbooks%2C106&ref=nb_sb_noss

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle.
Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times.
She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men
who have been traumatized.

More About Why We Lie

Alexis Acker-Halbur Did you know?, Healing, Never Give Up, Sexual Abuse, T.R.U.T.H. Program, Trauma , , , , , , , , ,
More About Why We Lie

Hello Wellness Seekers:

In November of 2016 I wrote a post titled, “Why I Lied.” This post continually receives the most comments of all time. I’m happy that it proves to be helpful to me and my readers.

An Essay Blows Me Away

Today, I read a new article that delves into “why we lie” even deeper. Published in last week’s TIME magazine is an essay titled, “How Secrets Keep Us Sick,” by Sarah Levy, the author of Drinking Games. In her essay, Ms. Levy says:

“There’s research that shows that primates evolved the tendency to tell lies to maximize survival, and  2018 study in Memory and Cognition explains [how] false denial can serve as a coping tool for managing shame and guilt.” Levy states, “I was dreadfully uncomfortable in my own skin and desperate to be someone, anyone, else. It seemed natural to alter the truth when my own reality was painful.”

My Reaction

After reading this statement, I was thrown back to the years I lied. Knowing it was a coping tool to survive my abusive father, I feel no shame or guilt. Some may say “it’s just another denial,” but truth be told, I needed this tool to keep living. I believe in the truth now more than ever, and I see how lies can prevent additional abuse and punishment.

Unfortunately, we don’t know this when we’re young and being abused by a “supposed” loved one, because our brains were not developed enough for us to say, “You’re hurting me,” or “Stop touching me.” An abused child’s lament.

My Advice

If you know a child who lies, find out what’s happening to this child. You may save this child’s life.

 ______________________________
Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle.
Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times.
She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men
who have been traumatized.

Think Beyond Your Genes

Alexis Acker-Halbur Never Give Up, Trauma, Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This article comes from Bruce Lipton’s newsletter, Think Beyond Your Genes. I reprinted it here so you can read what’s happening in our evolution. Some parts may seem creepy, but I can say Mr. Lipton has been right-on on a number of occasions. I hope you enjoy this article as it may change how you think about our future.

Hello Dear Friends, Cultural Creatives & Seekers Everywhere,

Evolution in Process

Crisis ignites evolution. The challenges and crises the world faces today are
signs that change is imminent. We are about to face our evolution. Evolution is a participatory event. It is up to us to change our perceptions of “doom and gloom” into something more positive and encouraging. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said so eloquently, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. To change the world, we must change ourselves first, and furthermore we are being called upon to come together in community and share in a positive vision for humanity as well as Mother Earth.
As practiced in most energy psychology modalities in changing beliefs, it is vital that we focus on what we want, rather than what we don’t want. With that being said, it is also in our best interest to fully understand the crisis we face if we are to learn from it and cultivate a more sustainable reality.
On November 8, 2022, the date of the last U.S. election, I made a life-changing decision… I stopped keeping-up with the news. This life-enhancing behavioral change was done for two main reasons: 1] The new news stories are the same as the old news stories, ones I have heard for decades. The stories remain the same, only the names of the principal characters and their countries of origin have changed. (OK, fact check: I occasionally read the headlines of articles … but do not delve into the text.). 2] Not having any ability to personally change these global issues, why would I waste my valuable life-energy by getting engaged-in, but not being able to respond to, the global chaos we are experiencing.
With all the stories of war, violence, hatred, catastrophes, health crises, etc., I have noticed a complete lack of information on the impending 6th Mass Extinction Event. NASA scientists emphasize that we are facing an “irreversible” collapse of industrial civilization within the next couple of decades. They place the blame on unsustainable resource exploitation and increasingly unequal wealth distribution (i.e., 1% of the
population has more wealth than the remaining 99%.)
This extinction story is profoundly important for all of us! Science has recognized that human behavior has precipitated the collapsing of the web of life. Civilization-induced stresses are creating environmental catastrophes that are straining the environment and threatening human extinction. One of the biggest contributors influencing the collapse of civilization is global climate change, erratic weather patterns that are destroying environments and ecosystems around the world.
Climate change is a natural product of the Earth’s evolution, occurring in cycles over thousands of years. However, today, industrial civilization has exacerbated the situation by upending the harmony and balance of Nature . Human behavior has polluted the air, the seas, and the soil, pillaged the Earth’s resources, engaged in cutting down the rain forest, and destroying millions of acres of Nature replacing them with unsustainable monocropping.
Some people question, “Can human civilization can actually upset the Earth’s
ecosystems?” The answer of course is an absolute YES. Sixty years ago during my high school geography class, we were studying the great seas separating Eastern Europe from Western Europe. They were the Aral Sea, the Black Sea, and the Caspian Sea (illustrated in the map below). To memorize these names, I used a mnemonic, referring to them as the “A-B-C Seas.” However, from satellite images shown below, over 95% of the Aral Sea has disappeared. With the loss of the Aral Sea, fish that fed millions of Europeans, the cities that arose to service that industry, as well as the seaside spa resorts have also disappeared. Considering that data, then Secretary-General of the U.N., Ban Ki-moon, described the drying up of the Aral Sea as one of the planet’s most shocking disasters.
Aral Sea Map
What happened to the Sea? Once the world’s fourth-largest “lake,” the Aral Sea shrunk because the rivers that fed it were largely diverted in a Soviet project to boost cotton production in the arid region. What now remains of the once-robust fishing economy are fishing trawlers stranded in sandy wastelands, with camels standing near the hulks of stranded ships. Furthermore, when the sea began to dry, layers of highly salted
sand left behind were carried by winds as far as Scandinavia and Japan.
Aral Sea 2
Signs of the Evolution
Evolutionary change will only start when we become active participants and stop our fruitless wait for some hero to arise and save us … for we are the heroes we have been looking for! Everyday, human “imaginal cells” are creating order out of the impending chaos. Evolutionary actions at the local level are increasing at a logarithmic rate, and frequently unrecognized by the media.
So, while it appears that nothing is happening on the surface, below there is a
groundswell of change that is about to erupt. This evolutionary upheaval is predicated on the rise of community. A small, yet wonderful, example of communal evolution on the local level was provided in the news story of a New Zealand retirement home that won a sustainability award. They created over 100 gardens on their property. The food fed the members of the home, as well as many others in the neighborhood. The garden work provided a meaningful existence to retirees, enhanced their health and, in fact the health of the community and the environment.
Amid the current global chaos, a new world is emerging like a Phoenix from the ashes, a world based on love rather than fear (based on love rather than fear) and we are its co-creators. We are, each and all, active participants in what will amount to be the greatest of human adventures, for we are on the threshold of an incredible evolutionary event … the emergence of a new super-organism, Humanity.
Dear friends, keep your hearts and minds focused on the beautiful future that lies before us!

With Love and Light,
Bruce

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized.