fear

Another Horrific Hate Crime

Alexis Acker-Halbur Healing , , , , , , ,
Angels weep.

My heart and prayers go out to all the people injured and murdered Saturday night in Orlando, FL. Friends, partners, husbands and husbands, wives and wives, family — all of us grieve for your lost loved ones and those that were injured beyond repair. All of us condemn such evil and hate.

It amazes me how evil people have such easy access to deadly weapons. 

Rita and I were traveling in the Middle East last year and we had a number of friends who told us they were nervous about our travels there. “What about all the violence?” they asked. “Aren’t you afraid you might get shot or kidnapped?” No, we were not afraid. Citizens in the Middle East can’t purchase guns and weapons like people can here in the U.S. WE ARE THE MOST VIOLENT COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! This isn’t a scare tactic this is unfortunately the truth. Just look at the list of states where there have been mass shootings — and now Florida leads them all with 49 dead and more wounded. I stand with the LGBT community as we grieve for our lost loved ones and friends.

I continue to refuse to live in fear and I hope you’ll join me.

Please don’t give up — never ever give up!angel-figure-451923_960_720[1]

The Outcome of Telling the Truth

Alexis Acker-Halbur Healing, Sexual Abuse , , , , , ,
The Outcome of Telling the Truth
Never Give Up!
Never Give Up!

In last Sunday’s StarTribune newspaper, a front page article stated: Abuse reports swamp system. Children are stranded as Hennepin County foster homes and shelters fill up. The first paragraph read, A dramatic rise in reported child abuse in Hennepin County is overwhelming children protection workers, filling up foster homes and shelter beds and in extreme cases forcing children to stay with abusive parents, according to county officials and records.

I’m not at all surprised by this article — I’m sad but not surprised. Why? Child abuse is no longer a secret. The Catholic Church brought child abuse to the front and center of society’s consciousness. We are now seeing the real stories and the real numbers of children who have suffered abuse. But despite the consciousness raising, there also comes the lack of resources for these children. Many of us knew abuse was rampant but until the actual numbers started climbing and the public become more aware, we’ve been left without enough resources to help these children heal. These children grow into adults who often are troubled by depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts, illness, mental health disorders, low or no self-esteem, and hopelessness.

We need more government agencies and health care clinics to address abuse issues and offer programs that help these adult children heal. One program I’m very familiar with is the Renewing Life program offered by Pathways in Minneapolis, MN for people who have chronic or terminal illnesses. Renewing Life helped me survive my two diagnoses of Stage IV colon cancer by teaching me how to cope with unresolved trauma from my own abuse. I’ve written a lot of blogs about how unresolved trauma can make us ill and cited research studies that connect stress/trauma and illness. If we really want abused children to become healthy adults, I truly believe the Renewing Life program is a great answer.

I’m a certified Renewing Life facilitator and I’m willing and able to contour the program to meet the needs of adults abused as children. This program can heal them with ways to:

  • understand how dangerous stress affects the health of the mind-body-spirit balance
  • release unhealthy anger and fear
  • stop violence and trauma from affecting well-being
  • strengthen the immune system against illness, stress, and injury
  • cope with setbacks
  • live with new life changes
  • heal, survive, and thrive in today’s world

The cost is minimal when compared with all the health care issues associated with abuse. I saw my own medical costs decline after going through the Renewing Life program.

Don’t ignore adults who were abused as children. Renewing Life is a low-cost program we can offer and, I have a co-facilitator who would love to work with these special people. Let’s make it happen.

Contact me through this website to discuss possible opportunities for healing.

Never give up — ever!

What Does Depression Feel Like? Here’s Your Answer

Alexis Acker-Halbur Did you know?, Healing , , , ,
What Does Depression Feel Like? Here’s Your Answer

Approximately 12 million women in the United States experience clinical depression each year.* woman-1006100_1280

About one in every eight women can expect to develop clinical depression during their lives. Since I’m one of those eight, I’m asked a lot about what depression really feels like. The following description gives you an idea how deep and hopeless depression is like:

My eyes open slowly adjusting to the dull throb of morning. I stare at the white, speckled ceiling trying to convince myself to move, but I can’t.

My body feels like 600 pounds ground into the mattress — too heavy to climb out, too deep to surface.

It’s another morning, and another bout of depression.

I want to cry, but I can’t. I’m past the point of tears. I’m terrified and tumbling out-of-control into the nothingness of hopelessness. All I can feel is dread and pain.

My bones feel as if they are being twisted and pulled apart. My fingers are swollen like little breakfast sausages. The ache in my lower back is something akin to corporal punishment.

The nerves in my head drum to a deafening rock and roll beat.

My bed has gone from being my refuge to a torture chamber.

I slowly sit up and cringe at the onslaught of memories.

I have nothing to get up for.

I have nothing to look forward to.

I have nothing to get excited about.

I have nothing but nothing.

I open the blinds and stare out at the day. The sun is shining, the air is fresh with Spring, and the neighbors are busy going to work. I shut the blinds?

Why?

Why me?

Why must I feel this way?

Why can’t I be happy?

Why can’t I look forward to a brand new day?

Why must I be depressed?

Again?

Why?

STOP!

When I feel this way it’s time for me to talk to someone I trust — a friend, a sister, a therapist, or a person of faith. Depression is a disease and not an issue of lacking willpower. It can be paralyzing and disabling and can turn successful people into failures.

Antidepressants can take away the sharp edge of depression, but they aren’t cures for this mental illness. They aren’t “happy pills” that suddenly transform me from a dark brooding creature into a slapstick comedian.

Depression is serious, so take it seriously. This world needs a lot more slapstick comedians than brooding creatures.

* Statistics from Mental Health America

Never give up . . . ever!

Alex Acker-Halbur