In the Beginning There was Chaos

In the Beginning There was Chaos

In the Beginning There was Chaos!

There was nothing but darkness—absolute blackness. No light, no sound, no energy. There were only eternal nights without stars. Many theories have tried to explain the beginning of our universe, so I will begin with explaining the top three: the big bang theory, evolution, and the story of Adam and Eve. These theories lead to my belief that our universe began in trauma and we have come to the decisive moment.

We consider the Big Bang Theory the leading explanation for how our universe began. Through the multitude of discoveries in astronomy and physics, scientists believe, beyond a reasonable doubt, that our universe did in fact have a beginning. Somehow, a spark was lit and chaos began. Lightning, explosions, the birth of pristine stars and planets all began at once. Asteroids slamming into each other created atoms of fury and life. The first new day of the universe had begun, but in its wake was destruction and pandemonium. Some scientists believe it took over 13.8 billion years to get where we are today, and our universe is still growing through chaos.

Evolution (also known as the theory of natural selection) is one of the fundamental keystones of modern biological theory. According to an article published on June 7, 2019, by the National Geographic Society:

“The theory of [evolution] natural selection, comprises of organisms who produce more offspring than can survive in their environment. Those that are better physically equipped to survive, grow to maturity, and reproduce. Those that are lacking in such fitness either do not reach an age when they can reproduce or produce fewer offspring than their counterparts. We sometimes sum natural selection as ‘survival of the fittest’ because the ‘fittest’ organisms—those most suited to their environment—are the ones that reproduce more successfully, and are likely to pass on their traits to the next generation.”

Survival of the fittest states that the weak ones die or are devoured by the stronger. “Only the strong survive” is a traumatic proverb.

In the Bible, Adam and Eve are the first human couple created by God on the sixth day of Creation, and are the ancestors of all of humanity. In the perfect setting of the Garden of Eden, God told Adam and Eve they could eat any of the fruit in Eden, but forbade them from eating the fruit on the Tree of Knowledge. Satan transformed himself into a serpent and enticed the couple to eat the fruit. This resulted in God’s banishment of Adam and Eve from Eden. He sent them into a world of hostile beasts, poisonous reptiles, and dangerous weather, casting them into trauma.

Whatever theory you choose to believe, trauma started from our very beginning of time and is a well-known concept of biology and science. Even in religious sectors, they cannot deny that it thrust Adam and Eve into trauma.

This research has led me to the belief that all traumas began at the moment a spark flew and ignited our descent into suffering and pain. With trauma living in our cells, bones, organs, and muscles, it is no wonder why we have a conundrum of ways to treat trauma. Medical professionals use medication, psychiatrists use talk therapy and drugs, and religious orders use prayer and exorcism. All are trying to eliminate the effects of trauma, so much so that healing has become a billion dollar business in America.

I am convinced we can do better. This is why I created Your Moment of T.R.U.T.H. (The Road to Unresolved Trauma). We do not need to spend billions of dollars to heal from chaos and trauma. Put your money in the belief that you can, and will, eliminate stress and depression. The key is to focus on yourself and find the fuel to cope, and even wipe away, your doubts. Believe in healing—it is in your hands.

You can purchase my book and workbook by clicking here.  YMT is available on Kindle.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. 

“Where are You Christmas, Why Can’t I Find You?”

Dear Wellness Seekers:

When I was a child, Christmas was a time of wonder and surprise. Relatives joined us for lunch at our house and the merriment was audible. The family gathered for the purpose of well-wishes and happiness. Now, this year, I ask, “Where are You Christmas, Why Can’t I Find You?”

Dreaded Phone Calls

I got one of those phone calls that I dread. My brother told me that my nephew Steve had died from COVID. My heart sank and my soul cried. How could this happen? Steve was 54, a good man, and a wonderful father. He developed MS many years ago, and his doctors advised him not to get the COVID vaccinations due to his compromised immune system. They were afraid that the vaccines would affect his health, but not getting the vaccines took his life. There is no winning when it comes to COVID.

I used to babysit Steve and his two sisters. The three were rascals and he was their leader, but he was always a kind older brother. Steve was a big guy with a huge heart. I loved him so much.

Get Vaccinated!

PLEASE give yourself a gift of life this Christmas by getting vaccinated, and get the booster, too. Forget all those conspiracy theories and lies that you’ve heard about the virus. In reality, over 800,000 people have died from COVID. Now, that number includes my nephew Steve. I will always remember his smile.

Peace to you, Steve, and know that I will love you forever.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way many times. She survived and shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illnessclick here, or her newly published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between click here.

 

Minnesota’s Author Fair

Minnesota’s Author Fair

Hello Never Give Up Institute Seekers and Followers:

I’m going live at the Minnesota’s Author Fair on Saturday, November 13, 2021, in beautiful Stillwater, MN. I’d love it if you could stop by and visit with me. I can tell you about all the BIG PROJECT I’m working on at the Institute. It’s going to be amazing. I’ll have all my books and workbook to sell on that day. These would be great gifts for the holidays. Many of the authors who will be there that day are from my Women on Writing (WOW) chapter. They’re wonderful women with their own award-winning books. Stop by if you can. Thanks!

May be an image of one or more people and text that says 'The Historic Lowell Inn Invites you to a splendid event! In Lovely Stillwater Minnesota Author FAIR Shop early for the holidays! Νου. 10am-4pm 4pm at the Lowell Inn at 102 2nd Street Ν. in Lovely Stillwater, MN We are thrilled to visit Stillwater for an Author's Gathering. You will have books to pur chase and get signed and talk to the authors about their inspiration. If you have questions, you may call Lisa Green at (952) 466-3364 This event is free and open to the public but there is Mohan fee for books.'

Exploring the Connection Between Trauma Healing and Physical Health

A brokenhearted child beside a happy and thriving individual

[This blog was written for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and recently published on their website.]

Over 20,000 research studies have been done on the impact of stress on the human body According to medical experts, no one study definitively proves that unresolved stress and trauma can cause physical illness. However, my personal experience has led me to believe that it does.

I am not a medical professional, nor am I a therapist or nurse. I am a professional patient who has battled a lifetime of illnesses, from Type 1 diabetes and high blood pressure to Graves’ disease and stage IV colon cancer (twice).

I believe my complex medical history is connected to the sexual abuse I experienced in my childhood. Exploring this connection has been a key component of learning how to heal from trauma.

Facing the Impact of Childhood Trauma

Typically, one of the first lessons children learn is the importance of telling the truth. For children who have experienced physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological trauma, this lesson becomes confusing and stressful. Frequently threatened and told to lie, children like me are led further and further away from a core value: the authenticity to speak directly from the soul.

The result is often a spiritual loss so deep that recovery from stress and trauma can feel impossible.

Late one night, during a hospital stay for surgery to remove two feet of my colon, I knew I was dying. It was at that moment that I vowed, if I woke up the next morning, I would teach my body, mind, and spirit how to heal.

Accepting What Happened to Me Was Not My Fault
My journey to healing required an emotional reset. I had physically survived the trauma, but my emotional wounds remained. I was always sad, hurt, and angry because of the years of emotional issues and suffering I endured. I wanted a person to blame and hold responsible for my pain. I wanted the individuals responsible for the abuse to apologize, but I learned amends rarely happen.

The healing journey is also complicated by the constant reinforcement of victim-blaming attitudes (by peers, courts, and media) that validate what perpetrators have been saying all along – that the abuse was the victim’s fault. Part of my process involved learning and accepting that abuse is neither the victim’s fault nor their responsibility; the responsibility lies solely with the perpetrator.

For years after being abused as a child and sexually exploited by a therapist, I carried around the feeling that I was at fault for these traumatic events because I was not smart enough to know better. In a new therapy group, I was shocked to learn that none of these traumas were my responsibility.

Learning to Heal
Healing started the moment I took back the ability to speak directly from my soul. I also found many other ways to cope and heal:

  • Understanding and telling my story.
  • Finding the strength to withstand abuse myths and disbeliefs.
  • Creating a healthy support system.
  • Checking in with my medical and mental health professionals.
  • Strengthening my immune system.
  • Believing in an inner, astute truth: I am not to blame for the abuse I experienced.

I continued my healing by writing several books including Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, which won a 2018 Living Now Gold Book Award for books that change people’s lives. Additionally, I reported my abuse to the authorities as a way to take my power back.

The Mind-Body Connection
As I have written in my book, I have come to believe that when people think they are responsible for emotional trauma, this false belief disturbs the mind, body, and spirit — potentially weakening their immune system and leading to stress headaches and muscle tension, depression and fatigue.

Sometimes I worry that the self-blame and negative self-talk following my abuse was actually more harmful to me than the abuse itself. As I blamed myself and took responsibility for my abuse, I found myself in hospitals for illness after illness.

As I look back from an emotionally healed place, I have a message to share: It is our birthright to heal from the abuse we did not ask for or want, and to become the physically healthy person we always wanted to be.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and an abuse survivor. Now she shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. You can learn more about her work on this website.

 

 

 

 

How to Safely Move Out of an Abusive Home

A woman holding a smiley face balloon

GUEST BLOG by Nora Hood

I’m thrilled to introduce you to Nora Hood, a blog writer and today’s guest. Her blog below includes critical information on how to move out of an abusive relationship and home. 

 

(Image courtesy of Pexels)

Find more inspiring articles like this at The Never Give Up Institute’s Blog.

How to Safely Move Out of an Abusive Home

 If you are a victim of domestic abuse — escape might feel hopeless. It can be hard to leave, especially if you have developed a form of codependency with your abuser. No matter what fears you have, leaving an abusive home is the best choice. Once you leave, you will finally be able to start your journey towards being mentally healthy. In order to make it out safely and find a new home, you’ll need to make a good plan.

Be Prepared

Before you leave an abusive partner or family, you should have a plan. You probably won’t be able to take all of your belongings, but you should make a checklist of important things to pack. You will need identification information, personal documents, any money you’ve saved, keys, prescription medicines, etc. You’ll also want to take anything of personal value to you.

If you want to file for a permanent restraining order in the future, then you’ll likely need evidence of the abuse. This could also help you send your abuser to jail. According to WomensLaw.org, evidence could include anything from pictures of your wounds, a personal diary documenting the abuse, objects broken by the abuser, medical reports from the abuse, and testimony in court from you or other witnesses. Having evidence will help protect you in the long-run.

While you will eventually need to purchase a new home, your best option for getting away as soon as possible is by finding a temporary place to stay, whether that is at a friend’s or a family member’s place. You could also stay at a shelter while you’re getting things together.

 Make Your Escape

When you actually leave, you will need to move quickly so you don’t get injured. Don’t try to confront your abuser before you leave because this could make your situation worse. It’s tempting to stand up for yourself, but the safest option is to leave without saying anything. If your abuser has a regular routine, plan to leave when they are out of the house.

In the worst-case scenario, your abuser will catch you leaving and try to confront you. In this case, you should call 911. If you know that a confrontation is likely, you should consider calling 911 as a precaution. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for help from the police, you could also ask a friend to be there with you. Abusers are usually less likely to attack if there is a witness.

Find a New Home

It can be hard to get your life on track, but one of the best ways to get a fresh start is by putting down roots with your very own home. This will give you the sense of independence and control that you crave. As a domestic abuse survivor, your life was in someone else’s hands. Purchasing your own home is just another step of the healing process.

But buying a new home won’t be easy. You’ll need to have a regular source of income and good credit. If your abuser didn’t allow you to have a job, you’ll have to find one, which can be hard after experiencing the trauma of domestic abuse. Another important part of the home purchasing process is determining what you can afford. You’ll need to consider your annual income, the down payment, how much you spend each month, what kind of loan you’ll be taking out, and the location of the home.

Once you’re financially stable enough to buy your own home, take your time to decide which one is best for you. Make sure you do your research on the area and look for a neighborhood with low crime rates so that you can feel safe. After you’ve found the perfect home and moved in, you should make connections with your community. Niche recommends checking out the town calendar and joining local organizations.

Escaping from domestic abuse is hard. The relationship can become addictive, and it can feel like there is no way out. But you deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life. Just make sure that you’re prepared to leave, so you don’t end up injured. If you want to learn more about surviving trauma and healing, The Never Give Up Institute offers a wide variety of information and healing tools that can help you start fresh.

Find more inspiring articles like this on The Never Give Up Institute’s website.

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Alexis Acker-Halbur is an award-winning author and medical miracle. Child abuse made her seriously ill and put her in harm’s way numerous times. She survived and now shares her experiences and tools with women and men who have been traumatized. To order her tools for healing trauma book, Never Give Up: Break the Connection Between Stress and Illness, click here. If you would like to read her 2020 published fictional novel, THE BEAR: In the Middle of Between, click here.